dear seventh grade me

dear seventh grade me
you will not be a freak forever
the first day will be like the newly primed canvases of your first proper art class
the days after will help you realise that there’s a whole world outside those four walls
and they will help you realise that you’re not as worthless as some said you were
and you will stop feeling so ashamed

dear seventh grade me
you will stop hating yourself someday
and when her head is resting in the crook of your shoulder on that creaky single bed
she’ll find the scores up your arms
the stroke of her index finger will say “I’m sorry you hurt”
the trace of her thumb will say “we’ll always be here for you”
the brush of her knuckles will say “we love you – please don’t”
she will be sun-soaked daisies
and every time you think of her you will think of the gentle slope of her nose
the curves of her smile
the laugh lines and creases and clear blue eyes
she will make you fall in love with her a little at a time

dear seventh grade me
he was not the one
and even though it makes you ache to hear his name
even though you will never see another hockey game together
this feeling will pass
I promise you things get better
and I warn you the minute you set eyes on him you will fall and fall hard
and I warn you the minute he leaves you will hurt even more than you thought you would
but please don’t worry because he comes back
he always comes back
he will remind you in little ways that you are so important
and you’ll both have silly inside jokes about spoons and toasters and when you cry he will cry too
it will feel like he’s always been there
the old house on North Park
trips to the museum
that time you crashed your bike
you’ll grow to love puzzle piece metaphors because that’s what it feels like
puzzle pieces

dear seventh grade me
do not fear the future
your life will be so much more beautiful than you ever thought possible
and the flowers in your heart will bloom again
get ready to soar